Every Man Should Live By a Code: Here as some thoughts.]

   

Every Man Should Live By a Code

A man should have a code that he lives by. A belief system that guides his character and behavior. It cannot be written as a law. Rather it is a set of standards that he lives by. Informing your code, I will offer many ideas to consider. Ultimately it is up to you to decide what you will live and die for and possibly by. For me, integrity is the greatest value. Integrity is not honesty. It is a deal that you make with yourself and never break. It is what you do when nobody is looking, but more importantly, it is your unfailing refusal to lie or avoid telling the truth because it may be inconvenient or unhelpful to you.  It is a refusal to ever fail to support others by hiding. As Sam Houston put it, “Do what is right and damn the consequences.” I am a stand-up guy, and you can trust I will always be there no matter my personal risks to do the right thing. It can also mean lying to protect the good. Here are some quotes to give you a flavor.

 

By the way, I hold everyone to these standards. Be a man or a woman of character and if you should hurt someone or me because you are a coward or self-serving. I will hunt you down and make you pay. You have been warned. If you do not like it than have nothing to do with me. May you never allow me to put my sights on you or hear of you.

 

Some ideas to think over.

 

“Masculinity is not something given to you, but something you gain. And you gain it by winning small battles with honor.” -Norman Mailer

 

“Find what you love and let it kill you.” -Bukowski

 

“A man must stand erect, not be kept erect by others.” -Marcus Aurelius

 

“You can tell the greatness of a man by what makes him angry.” -Abraham Lincoln

 

“One cannot always be a hero, but one can always be a man.” -Johann Wolfgang

 

“If you are going through hell, keep going.” -Winston Churchill

 

“Do what thy manhood bids thee do, from none but self-expect applause; He noblest lives and noblest dies who makes and keeps his self-made laws.” -Richard Francis Burton

 

“Here is the manliness of manhood, that a man has a good reason for what he does and has a will in doing it.” -Alexander MacLaren

 

“There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.” -Ernest Hemingway

 

“It is not the size of the dog in the fight, it is the size of the fight in the dog.” -Mark Twain

 

“The coward is the one who lets his fear overcome his sense of duty. Duty is the essence of manhood.” -George S. Patton

 

“The way of a superior man is three-fold: virtuous, he is free from anxieties; wise, he is free from perplexities; bold, he is free from fear.”  -Confucius

 

“There is one rule, above all others, for a man. Whatever comes, face it on your feet.” -Robert Jordan

 

“Scar tissue is stronger than regular tissue. Realize the strength, move on.” -Henry Rollins

 

“The greatest thing a man can do in this world, is to make the most possible out of the stuff that has been given him. This is success, and there is no other.” -Orison Swett Marden

 

“Courage – a perfect sensibility of the measure of danger, and a mental willingness to endure it.” -William Tecumseh Sherman

 

” In the end what separates a man from a slave? Money? Power? No, a man chooses, and a slave obeys!” -Andrew Ryan

 

“We sleep safe in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would do us harm. -George Orwell

 

“The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places.”  

-Hemmingway

 

“No man is more unhappy than he who never faces adversity. For he is not permitted to prove himself.” -Seneca

“I came. I saw. I conquered.” -Julius Caesar This one was worth it because of what Brutus and Cassius did to him.

 

A man does what he must – despite personal consequences, despite obstacles and dangers and pressures – and that is the basis of all human morality. -Winston Churchill

 

Do not pray for an easy life. Pray for the strength to endure a difficult one.-Bruce Lee

 

Life is too short to be little. Man is never so manly as when he feels deeply, acts boldly, and expresses himself with frankness and with fervor. -Benjamin Disraeli

Questions to Consider

Questions to Consider

 

1.     Do you set your life’s direction or does God? If you set it to have you failed to follow God’s plan for you? What if no plan has appeared? 

2.     Your life will have consisted of the best and the worst of times. These times are potent. Tell me about them. Would you give up the best of times if it meant you could skip the worst

3.     What is holding you back? Is it one thing or several? Are you going to do the hard work of self-reflection and then act or is this it for you?

4.     What are your strengths and weaknesses?

5.     Who are you really when the world is not watching? Would people be surprised?

6.     How would you react if there was irrefutable proof that God does not exist? How about if there was irrefutable proof that God does exist? Do you think that if the entire world learned at once that society would come apart or do you think that our socialized minds would carry on relatively the same?

7.  Describe life with 3 words.

     I had to throw a few down: Love, Worry, and Death

8.    What is the best way to explore human nature: psychology, philosophy, or biology? You must choose one of the three options. 

     What is the purpose of art in society

     How Important is freedom of the press to a healthy society?

     Should the government make it illegal for people to hurt themselves?

     What are the necessary ingredients for a healthy and happy society to exist?

     Are some lives more valuable than others?

m  Are emotions useful?   Do people have a right to be happy or do they have to earn it?

What Scares You the Most?

 What Scares You the Most?

By: John R. Halstead

The uncertainty of the coronavirus pandemic and the eventual economic disaster it will leave is going to make keeping a home in a safe neighborhood over your head even more difficult. I spoke with some veterans that lived homeless after their tours. They were suffering from PTSD, depression, anxiety, medical bills, and they had been on the other side of the world for 4-12 years. Many joined the military because they did not have a secure home and when they returned, they had nobody to guide them. It was not their fault, but the world labeled them as bums, addicts, and the like. Hearing their stories of cold nights, thieves, and run-ins with the law sounded like things that would not happen in the United States. Even after the V.A. and other social workers found them help it took months for them to get treatment and assistance. They struggled with alcohol and substance use disorders that were not drugs of recreation for them. These were their pain killers for severed nervous systems, broken backs, mental illness, and while they killed the pain at first now, they are a new problem that threatens their finances, health, relationships, and families. These are the hero’s that fought on the front lines. These were the IED dodgers and the paramedics that saved countless young lives of young men and women that they will never see or hear from again. Now, with a worldwide pandemic and an economy that is floating on funny printed money and increased unemployment benefits that are going away, and an uncertain election I read that the coronavirus numbers are on the rise worldwide. Some countries may have to shut down again. The funny money is gone, and the politicians are playing games. After the election, help may come. How much though? What about the job losses and the wages that have fallen? I know these veterans because I worked a dangerous job in private security, and I went through the same mental problems. I have managed to keep my home but while recovering from depression I have left a spotty job record despite my 5 years in security, 10 years as a teacher, 5 years is sales, and a Master’s degree not to mention another two years of counseling classes. Yes, I am afraid of being homeless almost every day. Every day I think about how I am spending any money, even if it is just for basic groceries. Or for example, should I spend that money on a suit for a job interview. Now the check engine light is on in my 12-year-old car. My wife our only income needs surgery and will be out of work unpaid for 6 weeks. God help us if she gets coronavirus.

I am constantly checking my bank account balances. How much longer before we go broke.  If something happens to my car, or to me medically, how long would I be OK? With my wife’s job, we make too much for any program. Meanwhile, I see the losers getting taxes back they never paid and buying 8-foot televisions with them. I know there are no safety nets. If you are lucky at most, a couple of churches will help you with some canned foods here and there.

My family is too old, and I cannot get help from them. I only had one friend who offered to let me stay in her home. It is not that bad yet. 

I get flashbacks sometimes, remembering, it was horrifying and terrifying every single minute of every single day I was homeless. It changes you. He starts feeling more primitive,

You no longer trust that everything will always be OK. You learn that it doesn't matter if you're a good person, responsible, stay away from bad people stay away from trouble, work hard at your job, and do your very best, and just be disciplined in life. Sometimes, people, have things that happen to them that are out of their control.

This country is made to be capitalistic, but it does not work when everything closes. It is amazing how quickly cruelty sinks in and you become the problem instead of a struggling victim.

Do not assume that homeless people are all druggies or alcoholics or lazy. Wake the hell up. If you do not stand for them who will be there to stand for you someday? Cannot happen to you? People are stockpiling food and buying guns. 

 I would rather be starving in a cold, dark apartment with no electricity but still have water, fire, and some weapons. A gang maybe. Everyone is going around with their head in the sand. I hope I am wrong. I am not though. People are already homeless. Eviction and foreclosures are going to be a reality soon. We live in a nation that needs you to consume and as a result, few people have any emergency savings. I will be damned if they get help while I go through mine. There is a lot of tension mounting and our hopes for good leadership are abysmal. Trump says he won and so far none of his lawsuits have gone anywhere. So can you blame me for asking as Merle Haggard did, "Are the good times really over for good?" This is not a country that is prepared to handle real bad times. 

Bars with Character

 

Bars that have Character

By: John R. Halstead

Life Edge copywrite (2020)

 

What exactly does it mean to when I say character? It is a hard thing to define. It consists of a style or flare that is distinctive, unique, often with peculiar qualities that appeal to some and sometimes are looked down on by others. When it comes to bars it can be a trendy upscale jazz joint or a cozy elegant space with brick walls leather chairs, wooden tables and a bar where the music is played softly and you can have a conversation without having to yell. It can be a log cabin type area to warm up in on a freezing mountain side after skiing. Sometimes the best way to define something is to describe what it is not. It is not is a sports bar, most any chain bar, anything that looks like it should be a strip club. No trendy places where you participate in something called clubbing. Character can be good or bad. Often a dilapidated watering hole is the perfect habitat for interesting characters. Other times it is a magnet for hard core criminals.

 

 

 

In this article I want to share a few examples of bars with character that are rooted in older buildings that are showing their age. The rustic and decaying nature of the building is at odds with the chain/franchise America that are clean, reliably the same, are family friendly and are good for not offending the boorish middle-class average citizen. They are located near areas of adventure like mountains, the ocean, or the desert where you get off beat characters that appreciate the character of a bar. They can also be found in cities where politics and intrigue linger.

 

The watering hole that needs remodeling is often the ideal place for a bar that is located with character. Often these places are labeled as dive bars. Regardless of what you call them there are people who love them, but they cannot explain why.

 

To explain character better I will give you some reasons why I often love bars that others call dives. There is a usually an interesting past associated with the tavern. It is part of our history. We can imagine the discussions of those who suffered through the Great Depression finding solace from a hard world having a beer with friends. Dives attract the humble often hard physical laborers. They are rough on the edges, spirited, and quick to act spontaneously. I have made close relationships with workers I met in dives that were more loyal and empathetic than my so-called long-term work-related friends. They are quick to defend you and they can turn violent when treated wrong. They also drink every night as though it were Friday night. Hangovers just do not slow them down. Dives also attract the artsy types. From writers to painters many of them live hard. I am referring to the Hemingway type not the Oscar Wilde type. Dive bars are sanctuaries from the rules and social expectations of the world outside. Political correctness is incorrect and people routinely curse, threaten one another, flirt very assertively and they can do so without fear of being fired and having their picture pasted o the news as a definition of all that is wrong with the world. Liquor loosens tongues and the secrets to life are often revealed in a deep conversation with someone you met an hour ago. The freedom to be yourself is very relieving. Nobody cares why you are in a dive bar instead of another. They do not care who you are. They do not even care who you are trying to be. Bring all these elements together and you are guaranteed an experience of the human condition that is uniquely different than you will at your chain restaurant bar. Stories and lessons from a night in an old bar can stay with you for life. You will hear far better stories than you will find on television. Some are true, most probably are not.

 

In the spirit of sharing different aspects of culture I am going to share a few gems that some would call shacks or think should be condemned. They might feel differently if they went inside but I fear I think too highly of the reality television world and there  wimpy lives that keep them doing the same things in the same ways as though they were in prison. Well moving on as people from the home of the free and the brave let me share a few great watering holes and some great stories.

 

The first bar I want to share with you is the Napoleon House located on the corner of Rue Chartres and Rue St. Louis this bar was built over two hundred years ago in 1797 to be the Mayor Nicholas Giroud’s home. By way of some peculiar thinking a plot was formed in 1820 to free Napoleon Bonaparte from exile in St. Helena. The plan was to bring the Emperor to the New World and the first floor of the building would become Napoleon’s home. The plan was launched in 1821 and involved the infamous pirate/privateer Jean Lafitte. It was not to be though. Legend has it that after a week at sea the boat sent for Napoleon received news that he had died.

 

The building a was acquired by the Impastato family in 1914. The Napoleon House is a superb example of French influence architecture. The building has three levels with a brick stuccoed exterior. The years have aged the building. The plaster is peeling from the walls, beams and some piping are exposed. To some it is an old rotting structure. To others it is an example of romantic decay. The Old-World European feel and the bars patina creates an atmosphere where the past is so close its practically here. As New Orleans resident William Faulkner said, “The past is never dead. It's not even past." The building is now a bar and restaurant.  The walls are covered with aging paintings, portraits of Napoleon, and other framed pieces as well as quotes from regular and famous guests that are packed tightly giving the observer much to entertain themselves with. The floors are uneven so be careful in high heels or cowboy boots. Wooden furniture with leather chairs surrounds the bar. The bar itself is a massive piece of dark wood. A sculpture of Napoleon sits above it all.  The bar plays only classical music adding to the ambience. My introduction came on an unusually cold winter night on a suggestion from some people that overheard our complaining. They told us that there was a fireplace in the bar. My wife and I spent several hours at the bar with a large fire heating us to the bone. I had my first absinthe and a several other alcoholic drinks. I swear that I was hallucinating a side effect that absinthe has falsely been labeled as having. Still what I saw on the stairs has a huge animal. I had my wife look and she saw it too. Did we both hallucinate? The bar and restaurant were full. Surely somebody else would have seen it and commented or pointed in its direction. It was there for a full minute or two and then gone. We will never know.

 

We were warm and happy and being a cold night, I wanted to see Jean Lafitte’s Blacksmith Shop Bar which I knew also had a fireplace. It has been said to have been his Jean’s brother’s blacksmith shop. It has also been asserted that the building was used by Jean Laffite to store contraband and as a front for his nefarious business activities. Built is 1722 it is nearly three hundred years old. It is believed to be the oldest building used as a bar in the United States. It is clearly much smaller and vastly different in style then the Napoleon House. It is a Creole cottage style structure with a brick and beam construction. The bar was quiet and had an earthy aged feel like you experience when you visit an old plantation. The bar had a dark brooding feeling that was like the feelings I have had during plantation tours. Given Laffite was engaged in the illegal sale and smuggling of slaves I must wonder if the past is trying to speak to us. The bar has a long past of alleged hauntings and the age of the building and its size had a sobering effect and my wife, and I said a few words of prayer for the enslaved. At the same time the bar’s location on the less crowded bar end of the Bourbon Street made it feel like an excellent place to use as a safe house or a place to strategize criminal activities or to bury scandalous behavior. A non-smoker I bought a pack of cigarettes. They were Native American brand with no additives. The ingredients were tobacco and water. As I inhaled, I looked about as though someone was following me and I pretended to be a spy for an hour or so. On the way back down Bourbon I had my observational powers on full. I was watching for signs of danger, movement in the shadows, and planning how I would defend myself repeating the deadly moves to my wife. I told her for practice to be ready at any time I asked to give me a couple of routes to run to safety. In skullduggery or for just plane safety purposes this is called situational awareness and it is a good skill to keep honed. You will not believe the things that you have been missing.

To be continued